Maybe Jeff Bezos is only getting a divorce because he realised marriage is a type of union
Anonymous

ohmygodthanks:

This is the best anon ask I’ve ever received.

peble:
“ offers you a drink from me wine hook
”

peble:

offers you a drink from me wine hook

leesh:

THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE BEST TIKTOK EVER MADE

eclogues:

existential-bird:

eclogues:

if we all marry and divorce jeff bezo we can singlehandedly distribute all of his wealth

do you understand what singlehandedly means?

no. do u smoke weed?

vampireapologist:

trying to figure out how to do my makeup and outfit so it looks like I’m always under the shade of a tree in mid-june. just the shadowed silhouettes of leaves blowing in a gentle wind shadowed on my thighs and shoulders. you can smell honeysuckle and occasionally something cooking outside on a grill. distant sound of wind chimes and rustling grass. it’s warmer around me. anyone have a tutorial for that

fairycosmos:

sharpay was right: this is not what i want. this is not what i planned. and i just gotta say. i Do Not understand

mesopelagic:

mesopelagic:

mesopelagic:

mesopelagic:

did anyone else have the fucking. dolphin girls at school

they were like horse girls except they couldnt ht gfbfnfbnfj eb do sorry a mojth started attacking me

image

its dive bombing me like its world war 2 im just tryn to shit

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toilet roll now controlled by enemy forces

anyway dolphin girls where like horse girls but since they couldnt get their own dolphins they always had 24 books called like “sparkle glimmer cove” wherever they went

officialkingofconeyisland:

Meanwhile at Tumblr headquarters: 

image

ginger-ale-official:

meatyogre:

nasundertale:

girl on the bus next to me: ive only eaten things that start with b today

that is how i want to live my life

She was warning you about the fate of the bus you were all in

barbieprivilege:

me: :)

target self checkout security camera: you look like this

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me: :(